Vina Paramitha

Growing up, I have always been carrying a heavy burden on my shoulders: “expectations”. It felt like I was stuck in a loop—people would have high expectations of me, and I would go to the ends of the earth to meet those expectations. If I fell short, I would consider myself a failure and beat myself up over it. It got to the point where getting good results does not feel like an achievement anymore. Instead of feeling proud whenever I get them, I would only feel a sense of relief at the fact that I would not have to hear the words, “you are not good enough,” ringing in the back of my mind like a broken radio.

#MySunwayStory begins on the day when my IGCSE results came out. A lot of people told me that I did a great job, that I did my best, that I did everything I could. However, the weight on my shoulders did not feel any lighter. If anything, it felt much more massive than before. It was then I realized that I could never escape from this loop, because the person who had the highest expectations of me, and the only person who I could never satisfy was myself. However, after stepping into my very first class in the Canadian International Matriculation Programme (CIMP) at Sunway College, I changed for the better. I met a lot of new people—those who came from different backgrounds, and those who came from the same situation as I do. I learned a lot from every one of them, and with their help, I was able to slowly change my perspective, and I could feel the burden on my shoulders getting lighter day by day. After all the years I have spent resenting my academic journey, my days in CIMP was the very first time where I truly enjoyed learning.
 
Nine months passed by in a blink of an eye, and I was graduating from CIMP. It was an unforgettable memory: I achieved the highest average grade in the graduating batch, which earned me a full academic scholarship at Sunway University. The moment I stepped onto the stage to receive my certificate, I did not feel relieved. For the first time in my life, I felt incredibly proud of myself, not for what I have achieved, but for finally being in peace with myself. “You did well,” said the voice in the back of my mind. As I left the stage, I also left the weight on my shoulders behind. At the time I am writing this, I am pursuing a bachelor’s degree in international business at Sunway University. Of course, there are still many things that I have yet to learn, but this can only mean one thing: there is always room for me to grow. After all, this is not the end of #MySunwayStory, but the beginning of a brand new chapter.
 
Vina Paramitha
BSc (Hons) International Business
Jeffrey Cheah Special Entrance Scholarship